it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
