woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
