Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
