What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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