my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
