as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
