i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
