if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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