Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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