The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
