Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
