woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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