There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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