"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
