Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
