all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
