wat bout pragnant strippers??
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
