That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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