Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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