I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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