How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize