i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
