oh god the rape fog is back!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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