What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
