So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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