Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
