they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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