So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
