I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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