Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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