just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
