Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
