dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
