If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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