The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
