I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
