two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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