It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
