I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just tell him i said nine months
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
