My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
