Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
