Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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