I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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