# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want nice things and good sex
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
