Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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