weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
