his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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