I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
