how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
