Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
