before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
